Thoughts

• My hair is falling out.  It's almost like sprinkles because of how short it is.  Lots of dark sprinkles, especially in the shower when I wash my hair.  Jamie says it's more chia pet than GI Jane now.  Lots of thinning, no bald patches.  I wish it would just happen already; my scalp will probably feel a lot less tender when it's all gone.

• I'm really worried that I won't be able to get chemo on Thursday.  My MedOnc explained at my appointment last week that she really looks at the WBC (white blood cells) and Neutrophils Abs numbers when I get my bloodwork each week.  My WBC were 3.1; standard range is 4.0 - 11.0, and my neutrophils were 1.31 last week; standard range is 1.7 - 7.3.  If my neutrophils go below 1.0, I'll have to delay chemo a week to wait for my immune system to catch up.  Chemo is no fun, but it's the thing killing the cancer, so a delay is not good.  It's possible that the number will go up, but it's been on a downward trend so far.  Prayers are appreciated!

• I've been avoiding public places for the most part, but Jamie and I are going to a 6th Grade Parents Info Meeting tonight.  Yes - Gisèle will be in 6th grade next year!  This meeting is all about middle school registration, choosing of electives, etc.  I don't want to miss it.  Since my immune system is so compromised and flu season is so bad, I have to bring - and possibly wear - a mask.  I'll already be in a hat and wrapped up in layers, and may be adding a mask to the mix.  I'll be feeling very cancer patientish tonight.  I'm not looking forward to that.

• Chemo is giving me insomnia.  I get 1 good night of sleep each week (thank you, Friday exhaustion!) and am sleepless the rest of the time.  Undereye concealer is my friend.  I'll be talking to my MedOnc/nurses about it soon to see what it safe for me to take for the insomnia.

• I've always been insulin resistant and can easily tell when my blood sugar is low, but that has disappeared with chemo.  I've been forgetting to eat because I simply haven't felt hungry.  I've had a few cravings, but other than that, I'd be perfectly happy to go without food.  Not a good thing, since my MedOnc said the most important thing for me right now is keeping my calories up.  So I'm eating a brownie with no guilt right now.

• I have amazing friends and family.  The gifts, cards, prayers, and support I've received have kept my spirits up, and it seems like every time I start to get down, something arrives in the mail, or a message comes across my phone and I'm lifted back up.  Thank you.