Nesting

Jamie and I are nesting.

It's just like getting ready for an adorable addition to the family, except that we're getting ready for the unknown. And we won't get an adorable bundle of joy at the end.

We haven't heard from the surgical oncologist yet, so we don't know when that appointment will be. We have the preliminary pathology report, but want to go over it with the doctor before announcing anything about the type of cancer or possible treatment plan.

So we're waiting. And nesting. Because we're facing the unknown.

Jamie has started an extensive file to be filled with all the information we will obtain. He's also taking down Christmas decorations and cleaning the house.

I'm shopping. Soft, oversized button-up shirts, comfy pants, zip-up hoodies. The kids looked online with me and each picked out a hat for when I lose my hair. We're assuming I'll at least have surgery and chemo.

One of the hardest things right now, besides the waiting, is that I haven't been able to tell my parents yet.  Mom is in Missouri with Meme and Pepe, and Dad is home in San Antonio. I want them to be together - to have each other there - when I tell them. And I don't want to tell my siblings until I've told my parents. And it's hard to keep this in.

So we'll wait and nest.