Bad Mother

Tonight is one of those nights that I have to tell myself that I am NOT a bad mother.

Gisèle is on her bed, still crying, after throwing fit after fit after fit tonight. Jamie and I just said her bedtime prayer with her, she and I crying all the while, and he's now trying to soothe her enough that she'll lay down.

She didn't have any dinner. After using the potty, she refused to pull up her pants or wash her hands - just lay down on the bathroom rug bare-bottomed throwing a fit. After that one ended and she was washing her hands, she purposefully flung soap - bright green suds - all over the bathroom to start another fit. Things built on each other until the refusal to tell me whether or not she wanted dinner before bed. I told her if she didn't choose, I would, and I had to stick with what I said.

I constantly have to remind myself at times like these that I'm not a bad mother. I'm not starving my child - I'm teaching her about consequences. And I have to remind myself that some other parents have a harder job - usually Gisèle is a joy, so I need to count my blessings.

It's just especially hard after a weekend like the one we had. She had a stomach bug, and threw up twice Friday night and once Saturday morning. She was feeling better today, and we had a great time playing in the backyard together. To be this exhausted, and then think that things were getting better... it makes it that much worse when everything goes downhill again.

I'm sure things will be better tomorrow. I'm ready to have my sweet girl back. Until then, I'll enjoy a quiet dinner with Jamie and thank God that our other child is currently smiling and cooing.