Miles at Age 15

To read about Miles at age 14, click here.

1. Describe yourself.  "Creative, funny.  I'll just go with that."   

2. What are you thankful for?  "My family, what we have, and the opportunities we have."  

3. What makes you happy?  "Doing my own thing and not being bossed around, like not being able to enjoy myself."      

4. What makes you sad or angry?  "When people are annoying."  

5. What do you want to be when you grow up?  "I don't know." 

6. What's important to you?  "Uh, being able to have my "me time" but also be helpful."       

7. What do you love most about yourself?  "I like that I'm not spoiled."    

8. What do you love most about your mom?  "She's strong, she's been through a lot but she can go through more."  

9. What do you love most about your dad?  "He's very hardworking and takes care of the family and does things for us even if it means he's not happy."  

10. If you could go anywhere, where would you want to go?  "I'd go back to Europe.  Go on a Europe trip, visit some of the places we've already been to, but I'd also like to go to Spain, and the Netherlands again."   

11. Who do you admire, and why?  "I admire my parents because both of them are strong."  

12. What do you want to learn more about?  "I want to learn more coding skills for TSA {Technology Student Association} and be able to keep up in all my classes and not fall behind."   

13. What's something you'd like to do to help someone else?  "Make them feel welcome and not left out."  

14. What are you afraid of?  "I don't know, maybe boredom?"   

15. If you could only keep one thing, what would you keep?  "My family."   

16. What's your favorite memory?  "Probably the Europe trip 'cause we saw a bunch of stuff I'd never seen before and I got to have a bunch of foods I'd never had before and everything was really good."   

17. What are you proud of yourself for?  "I'm proud that I memorized all my marimba music."   

18. What are you looking forward to?  "Concert season in band and finally being used to all my classes and staying on top my classes."  

19. What do you dream about?  "I never remember my dreams."      

20. What else do you want to say?  "I need to do more Aceable {driving school} lessons."  

I love watching you grow into the man you're becoming.  You have such a kind heart, you're so thoughtful, and you're incredibly smart and funny.  I'm so blessed to be your mom!   

Gisèle, age 17

To see Gisèle at age 16, click here.

1. Describe yourself.  "I'm short, lactose intolerant, Christian, and I love doing theatre."   

2. What are you thankful for?  "Not being gluten intolerant.  I am grateful for my family, and our safety, and being able to live a 17th year."   

3. What makes you happy?  "The big robot balloon in the corner of the room."   

4. What makes you sad or angry?  "Injustice.  And lollygagging."   

5. What do you want to be when you grow up?  "Guess.  I'm pretty sure that's been my answer every year."  {Actor/director}   

6. What's important to you?  "Things that are important to me are my family and my success."   

7. What do you love most about yourself?  "Physically or mentally?  Physically I like my eyes and my lips.  I also like that my feet aren't tiny.  I know that's random.  Mentally, or more personality-wise, I like that I'm passionate, ambitious, intelligent, and I'm not likely to ever give up."   

8. What do you love most about your mom?  "I think my answer's going to be the same.  My mom is very strong, and I admire that strength, whether that's in expressing your opinions, or physical strength like going to bake an order when your body is telling you no.  I also love that you'll just listen to me any time I'm going through anything, or just in general.  You know all, so you're very good about sitting down, listening, and then giving your perspective on a solution."   

9. What do you love most about your dad?  "Dad sends funny texts.  Like the finger with the face on it, and the strawberry with the butt on it, that make me laugh at random points in the day.  I also really love that he cares about my safety a lot and that that's a big priority for him, that I'm safe and I'm set up for success.  He is also super smart and organized and I aspire to be that organized someday.  I appreciate that he helps me with homework; he's always down to try some problems and figure it out."   

10. If you could go anywhere, where would you want to go?  "I wanna go back to Europe when I'm not feeling bad.  And I would just love to travel some more in general."   

11. Who do you admire, and why?  "Career-wise, I really admire Idina Menzel, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Zendaya, Alan Rickman, and personally, my mom."   

12. What do you want to learn more about?  "Macroeconomics right now.  I feel pretty lacking in that area.  I also want to learn more about what it means to direct a show and be that kind of leader in a theatre environment since that's something I'm interested in."   

13. What's something you'd like to do to help someone else?  "In the grand scheme of things I want to go on a mission trip. I think that would be really cool.  And I enjoyed doing a local mission trip and helping Afghan immigrants learn more about pool safety this summer."  

14. What are you afraid of?  "Probably failure and filing taxes."   

15. If you could only keep one thing, what would you keep?  "Physically?  It would suck if I said a physical object and it was really asking which family member I'd save... Physically, an object I'd like to keep... The book Nana made me when I was younger.  About the tooth fairies, Gisele and Isabella, and how Isabella was really jealous of Gisele and broke her magic fairy wand and had to go fix it."  

16. What's your favorite memory?  "When we were in The Netherlands and it was really windy and that one tourist's hat blew away and we all almost fell over.  That was fun."   

17. What are you proud of yourself for?  "My resilience."   

18. What are you looking forward to?  "Night of the Living Dead {fall show}, and I'm also looking forward to getting all my college stuff in and done and decided on."  

19. What do you dream about?  "Let me think of my most recent dream.  Oh, I had that weird shark natatorium dream with the Voldemort director.  That was scary.  And it had the mutts from the Hunger Games in it.  It was a really awful dream."  

20. What else do you want to say?  "I really like an Oprah quote right now, and it is, I think, "You only get in life what you have the courage to ask for."  There's a Bible verse, James 1:2-3, "Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."  

Gisèle, you inspire and amaze me every day.  You make me so, so proud.  Happy birthday, sweet girl!  

Five Years NED

(Look at me, doing a post that isn't just a kid's birthday post!)

Today is a big day for me.

Today, I am 5 years post-active-treatment.  It's been 5 years since I was declared "NED."  

NED, for those not in the breast cancer world, stands for "No Evidence of Disease."  When you have breast cancer, the word "remission" isn't really used.  The chance of recurrence is so high that, instead, you're told that there is "No Evidence of Disease," with the world "currently" implied.

Most breast cancer statistics are defined by the 5 year and 10 year marks, so reaching the 5 year mark means you're now included in the "long-term" survival statistics.  In reality, each year you survive after active treatment, your survival rate goes up & risk of recurrence goes down, but 5 years feels big.  It feels important.  

Active treatment is different for everyone, but for me, it included nearly 6 months of chemotherapy, a double mastectomy, and 6 weeks of daily radiation.  It's called active treatment because most breast cancer patients also have years of treatment after that initial year or so.  Those following years, in my case, have involved:

• a few years of monthly shots, followed by 
• a bilateral salingo-oopherectomy (removal of ovaries and fallopian tubes)
• daily pills (with another 5 years to go on those)
• bi-weekly myofascial release appointments to deal with radiation and chemo-caused tissue and muscle issues
• yearly follow-up scans for bone loss and arthritis, caused by the daily pills
• an infusion every couple of years to treat the bone loss
• appointments to deal with chemo-induced rheumatoid arthritis
• daily pills for an under-performing thyroid caused by chemo 
• a whole host of other side effects - massive weight gain, daily pain, continued tenderness from the drains placement after surgery, changes in my hair, skin, and nails, continued brain fog/chemo brain, changes in my eyesight, complete loss of previous energy & stamina (causing trips to the hospital if I overdo things)
• early menopause - first caused by the chemo, then the shots, then the oopherectomy.  And that comes with its own side effects!

All of that being said, I would so much rather be here than not be here.  

I am one of the lucky ones.  So many women have it so, so much worse.  I made it through active treatment, I'm dealing with the rest of it, and I have an amazing support system in my husband, kids, family, and friends.

Cheers to 5 years NED!

1 week before starting chemo

port placement, pre-chemo

first chemo, icing hands and feet to prevent neuropathy

toward the beginning of chemo, with one of my kitty therapists

mid-chemo

further into chemo, losing my eyebrows & lashes

the incredible quilt my entire family decorated for me

toward the end of chemo, with brows & lashes gone

celebrating a day when I did my makeup and created eyebrows

final chemo!

prepping for my double mastectomy

flat and still bald

mapping for radiation (not pictured-my five permanent radiation tattoos)

first radiation, wearing a robe gifted from a friend

final radiation - end of active treatment!

starting to have a decent amount of hair, pictured with my other kitty therapist

a family trip to Universal to celebrate the end of active treatment!

1 year post-active treatment, learning to deal with curly hair

this morning, quick selfie 

Thank you to my family, especially, for the incredible support.  I wouldn't have made it through the year of treatment and the 5 years since without you.